​

I think we all have people in our lives that bring joy to our days. And we also all have people in our lives that often, or always, bring all sorts of stress to our lives. Usually, it is people who are going through things, and they encounter others and openly and unabashedly share their challenges. Sometimes they can keep you occupied for 10, 20, 30 minutes... or entire afternoons! And sometimes we have the time to be there to listen, and others we just don't.

After our bad car accident years ago, I had to go through my own times and my own learning about handling certain things.  One of the things that I heard and have also heard from others who have had professional help for issues, is that talking about things helps it do less damage. So, on one hand, this discussion is very good for the person who has to get it out, because it is traumatic, and discussing it helps provide far deeper repair and relief than holding it in.  So being able to be there for others in their times of need is actually a very good thing.

Sometimes, we get caught in a cycle of never-ending drama that stresses a person out. And we mistake that drama for something more difficult, like traumatic experiences. Talking these things out is still extremely beneficial, and at times we all must do that. And for others, they live their lives in a mode where everything that happens is some form of traumatic and dramatic. And they also go to every stop they can to share about it. That's just how they work, and I have no idea why.

I find myself often doing a self-check, and asking if I am doing the maneuver of unhelpfully over-sharing about drama in my own world. And there are times that I am completely guilty of it. And there are other times where I've been able to self-check myself and redirect the discussion. 

One thing that has helped me a lot the last few months actually came from a YouTube video put out by a construction professional.  He shared about his own experiences with handling life when it throws difficulties your way. He shared about how he has learned from his own life and from others that when we start to focus on ourselves too much, we start to have a spiral of drama and or trauma. He went on to share that we, as a species of beings, tend to be wired to be social and be around others. When we get too solitary and start to focus all of our thoughts on things going on that maybe we aren't the happiest about, it often leads our minds downhill quickly.  His suggestion is to focus a little more every day on how you can help others, and how it turns things around, and why.

And do you know what? It is the same input I hear from a lot of those who I seek out when I need help or to check my thinking. That, just that single fact, is an incredibly important point, in my mind.  The fact that those who I approach when I need to make sure my head is right are already using this to help others is a signal of something that's worth listening to. And as I look to a great number of my elders, their service to others seems to be a regular and recurring theme.  Maybe that's another indicator of the right thing to be doing?  Especially when things aren't 100% perfect. I am going to keep working to give it a try and see what the results are.