A wife can be sneaky.
Get your mind out of the gutter. Not that kind of sneaky!
I recently had a milestone birthday. The one that’s north of 70 and south of 80.
Hard to believe about such a fine youthful specimen as myself. Nonetheless, true.
I’m not a birthday celebration kind of guy. Gave that up years ago, the better to look more forgivingly at the guy in the mirror. The wrinkles, the bulges, the wispy white stuff around – not on – the top of my head.
Best to let the years pass quietly by without drawing unwanted attention.
Stephanie is usually good with my low-key preferences.
Not this time.
Several months ago, she ordered me to mark off certain dates in my calendar. It became clear the matter was not open to negotiation. My standard line – “I do not take well to the lash” – fell on deaf ears.
So I did as I was told, thinking over the coming months she would slip up and spill the beans.
She didn’t.
On the appointed day we loaded bags in the car and left. I didn’t even know which way to turn until we reached the interstate.
“That way,” she barked, and we took the south-bound ramp.
For those who have not driven the entire length of Illinois, suffice to say it is a very long state. I know because I grew up on the family farm nearly 300 miles south, then went to college at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale. It’s a very southern culture down that way, and I still have the drawl to prove it.
Stephanie regularly reminds me that Wisconsin sits atop Illinois, in all ways. What else would be expected from Miss Beloit, Miss Wisconsin, the host of Discover Wisconsin, the Tourism secretary for Wisconsin, etc., etc.
Still, I always assert that Southern Illinois is just as beautiful with amazing sights she should see. A few hundred miles south I knew where we were headed.
We spent three wonderful days touring Garden of the Gods, Cave-in-Rock State Park and Giant City State Park. We visited the Superman statue in Metropolis. I showed her around Carbondale. We both choked up following parts of the Trail of Tears through the Shawnee National Forest.
If you see Steph, ask her now if she thinks Southern Illinois is beautiful.
She was not finished being sneaky, though. We had three more days of travel ahead, again pointing south. This time I guessed the destination correctly. I love country music, so it was on to Nashville and our hotel just blocks from busy Lower Broadway and the world-famous honky tonks.
That’s when the best surprise took place.
We were getting ready to go out. Stephanie was taking an inordinate amount of time locked up in the bathroom doing her hair, or so she wanted me to believe. There was a knock at the door. Annoying since I hadn’t even brushed my teeth. I tried to look through the peephole but could see nothing but black, which immediately made me suspicious that a troublemaker might be up to something. I jerked the door open ready for a confrontation.
“What the hell!” were the only words my mouth could produce. There stood daughter Traci and her husband Alex; son Kyle and his wife Carrie; and son John and his wife Amanda.
Somewhere in the hugs that followed I could hear a hearty, “Happy Birthday, Dad!”
Now that is sneaky.
And amazingly wonderful.
The next two days flew by in a flash. We went to a show at the Grand Ole Opry. We hung out together at the hotel pool – after all, the heat index that week in downtown Nashville reached 114 degrees. Reservations at great Nashville restaurants were included in the surprise. We ventured down to the honky tonks on Saturday night with what felt like a few billion of our fellow hillbilly music fans. And on Sunday we said emotional goodbyes and began the long trek to our respective homes.
Nashville is all it’s cracked up to be with abundant musical talent, culinary delights and sight-seeing.
But that was just window dressing. This birthday serves as a reminder in the twilight of my years that family is what sustains life and makes it meaningful. That we only have limited time to experience it, so hold on tight and savor the moments. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is promised to no one. Life is what happens today.
As for my sneaky wife Stephanie.
Got me. Got me good.
I’ll never forget it.

Bill Barth is the former editor of the Beloit Daily News and a member of the Wisconsin NewsMedia Hall of Fame. Write to him at bbarth@beloitdailynews.com.